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Wednesday, February 13, 2008


The prog-rock ballad. A particularly unsung micro-genre full of lovely little gems. After punk came along, the foolish idea of "guilty pleasures" took hold, as the catechism forbade any response to the likes of ELP or Yes other than mockery and revulsion. As with any such ideological musical taboo, the rejection of prog was just fucking stupid, as if somehow four crusty little morons with one good three chord a-side were nobler than three pompous keyboard klowns with one good 3 minute section on one of their side-long cantatas. The finest parody of prog was on a National Lampoon album entitled "Good Bye Pop" - a true laff riot called the "Art-Rock Suite" (the album also contained a superb Neil Young spoof called "Southern California Brings Me Down"). But easy as it is to mock prog-rock, go look at some of Gentle Giant's live work on YouTube; some of those things are mind-blowing.

I attended a wedding many years ago; the couple were amiable stoners who selected ELP's "Still You Turn Me On" as their first-dance-as-man-and-wife number (for the record, ours was "Je T'aime... Moi Non Plus"). All was fine - the couple swaying happily 'cross the floor to Greg Lake's romantic bellowing - until this forgotten, manic "swing your partners" hoe down section (with muy goofball fiddly synth farts) suddenly intruded, leaving Mr and Mrs baffled and frozen still until the mellow part resumed. Obviously they hadn't considered that bit, recalling only the main ballad part. And that's one problem with prog balladry... these guys wanted every track to be a cornucopia of textures and tempos so that some guy in a suburban bedroom could sagely note: "Didja hear that, Ant'ny? That was fuckin' 5/4 time right there."

With the advent of e-z editing on the computer, I was suddenly able to - ferinstance - excise all that claptrap about "the show that never ends" and 7 minute rototom workouts on "Karn Evil Nine" , leaving only the cool fake-Irish jig bit in the middle. Swell stuff. Another great joy was finally wedding the first and second stanza of Pearls Before Swine's "I Shall Not Care" so that Sara Teasdale's poem plays intact without the interminable freakout section that separates them on the album like an ornery bridge troll.

But I gotta say, there are a host of truly lovely ballads stuck throughout these prog albums, and here are some faves. You might find them indistinguishable from their chart-topper cousins like ELP's "Lucky Man" or "Dust In The Wind" by Kansas; to that I can only say : "ah, get fucked." Generally speaking, they avoid the power-ballad formulas of most classic rock horseshit, but they aim for something more rarefied than straight singer-songwriter or pop ballads... when it works, they get to the place a lot of today's chamber-pop artists aim for. Nothing too obscure on this list, I think. Make up a list of your own! Show it to somebody other than me and compare notes!

In no special order:

GENTLE GIANT - "THINK OF ME WITH KINDNESS" - This is from their "Octopus" album, the one with the very rad Charles E. White lll die-cut cover. GG were an eccentric act, but pretty popular for a while. They had this fixation with Rabelais, and wrought a weird Renaissance/Zappa music that they acknowledged was an acquired taste. This song is just gorgeous, even with a sort of "inhibited organum" middle section that I imagine might throw some finicky listeners. The rest is a lovely balance of gentle melodicism, soft jazzy riffing and a nearly Broadway climax. Musically, they were impeccable, and this is one of the few things of theirs that impresses directly and sweetly without all their usual ants-in-the-pants hi-jinks.

MOODY BLUES - "FOR MY LADY" - The word "lady" is a dangerous word for a song title. I once determined, in one of my "bad song" moments (I have a hobby of writing deliberately "bad songs" as opposed to the really bad ones I write in earnest), that "Rock and Roll Lady" would have to be the title of the rankest rock song ever. Dunno if anyone ever wrote one with that title, and I'd be shocked if there weren't dozens of them, but I couldn't craft a turd of sufficient majesty to deserve that title, so it remains theoretical. Anyway, Ray Thomas, the big ol' mustachioed galoot who usually just stands there hitting a tambourine while Justin Hayward sings, wrote this song. It's sort of a sea chantey -cum- light country tune with only slightly pretentious lyrics (and I LIKE pretentious: Scott Walker's very medium was pretense, and he's the motherfucker) far removed from all the "cold hearted orb that rules the night" sassafras that fills their albums in between the swell pop songs. It's a wonderful, largely ignored track.

GENESIS - "DANCING WITH THE MOONLIT KNIGHT" / "AISLE OF PLENTY" - This is one of those edit jobs I did on the pc, essentially taking the very first part of the "Selling England By The Pound" album and chopping out the rest of the album, laying in the very last part of the last song, which reprises the melody. (Just cut after the line "digesting England by the pound" and crossfade into the part beginning "I don't belong here, cried old Tessa out loud..." if you're trying this at home) The result is a striking, brit-folky melody that starts plaintive and builds very effectively, with mysterious consumer-culture-what-the-fuck lyrics that give the effect of meaning something real, and maybe they do. Peter Gabriel sings it to a fine turn.

VAN DER GRAAF GENERATOR - "HOUSE WITH NO DOOR" - OK, sorta obscure, maybe, but John Lydon's beloved Peter Hammill led this band, and they - and he - maintain a substantial cult. The rest of the album is pretty great King Crimson-ish stuff with saxes and Hammill's anguished existential wailing, but this is a special gem. Long and slow piano-based depression deluxe. It's a bit like what post-Syd Pink Floyd might've done if they could harness Syd's own mortal terror, as on "Dark Globe." Despite the harrowing self-pity of the piece, it remains lyrical and beautiful, and never feels too long.

KING CRIMSON - "LADY OF THE DANCING WATER" - Here we go again with the "lady" business. Evidently, a lot of Crimson fans loathe this song and its singer, Gordon Haskell. Proves what a load of twats they are. Gordon's voice is a little "rough" compared with Greg Lake's Nelson Eddy bit, which makes it better by me (check his album "It Is And It Isn't" - a terrific set including "No-one's More Important Than The Earthworm" - a great song later covered by Stackridge). Here he sings at a whisper, over gentle guitar and flute. I could've chosen another nice Crimson ballad, like "I Talk To The Wind", but this is more unusual and delicate, almost like some of Donovan's very fine work on "Gift From A Flower To A Garden."


Well, I'm sick of typing.

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