Posted
3:25 AM
by sport
Dear Diary-
On New Year’s Day, after casually excreting what I thought to be the unused portion of 2004’s last victuals, I glanced into the toilet wherein bobbed a quantity of very tiny skeletons, intact and unmistakably adult / human despite their wee dimensions. How many? Didn’t count, but there they drifted, sure enough, thru the cold pisspot water.
What a peculiar surprise, beloved diary!
Who were these itsy people? When had I eaten them?
What on earth to do?
I pulled the handle, my nerves all tingly with that admixture of vague dread and mild hope familiar to anyone who’s courted chance at the casino slots.
Whoosh! I say WHOOSH went the apparatus as our strange congress of osteo-lilliputians succumbed to the vortex, swirling away and cessward as mysteriously as they’d arrived.
One does ponder in the aftermath of events such as this, you betcha.
As I washed my hands, glancing toward the calming toilet (lest a skeleton or two claw their way back up through the pipes), I did ponder, eventually realizing what had just happened.
Amazement and epiphany!
A realization, I decided, worth sharing with my close friends.
Yep.
So that’s what happened.
In other news, a virus has destroyed our computer. Email will be received intermittently and answered erratically. Try to get by without me.