Posted 11:01 PM by sport

One day back in the 60s I opened up a comic book and saw that ad. >

Look at that!!! DR EVIL! His BRAIN was exposed! He defeated his enemies using a "thought-sensor" shaped like a fuckin' EYEBALL!

Soon, on a visit to Sears, I saw the actual figure behind the toy counter. Words cannot convey the covetous frenzy this inspired. See, previously I had to invent villains for my Captain Action doll to do battle with, using GI Joe dolls. It worked OK, but it was kind of pedestrian. THIS was the very thing. DR EVIL! (Wonder if Mike Myers had one as a kid)

Captain Action was a great toy, shown here in the essential source, the Sears "Wish Book". He was an action figure that could transform into any number of comicbook faves from Marvel, DC, and other characters like the Lone Ranger and Tarzan. Not only did the staid GI Joe make for an unsatisfying rival, but there was this aesthetic disconnect; I had this thing about mixing action figures... GI Joe was a world unto itself, as were the various Marx figures.

Though they all worked well scale-wise, it just seemed wrong to get the various worlds of Marx cowboys, Hasbro soldiers and Ideal superheroes all mashed up suchlike.



Now, the ZEROIDS were another matter. These battery operated robots were scaled smaller than the other11 or 12 inch figures. These were the perfect scale for combining with MAJOR MATT MASON, a rubber bendable astronaut made by Mattel. Somehow I had no problem mixing Matt and the Zeroids. And eventually, the greatest thrill of all, Colorforms' Men From Space would join the fray, but that's another whole entry.


Incidentally, look at the BATMAN play set there below the Capt Action ad. Another great set, and nowadays a VERY costly item- if you can find one- on Ebay. Had it. Oh yeah.


So you can imagine the cluster of competing hopes: will I get ZEROIDS? The new GI Joe "Soldiers of the World" figures? And ...heart be still... DR EVIL himself? Fevered prayers.


Here we are, me and Pete, me beaming over my new ZEROID robot and Pete a bit distressed that he got Rudy the Robot instead of his own Zeroid. Age-appropriateness and all. A glance around the room confirms that this was a GREAT take for Christmas morn: Behind us is the STRANGE CHANGE machine, into which you'd plunk these little square plastic wafers and watch as they bloomed into the coolest little aliens, bugs, dinosaurs, etc. Killer toy.

Peeking out right behind my ass is the head of a Marx Toys RAT PATROL figure, part of a cool set based on some tv show I never watched. I think I see a Troll House in front of Strange Change, which was probably Pete's. I have one of those now. You need one. Ya never know.

Of course, to my right (well, my left, but right as you observe the scene) is an open box of small accessories. Oh yeah...


At the very bottom of the box is a little object, which on closer inspection looks like it might just be... naw... is it possible?

That little object looks like it might just be a THOUGHT-SENSOR!!!!


That can mean only ONE THING!

Let's roll back time (Christ, if only...) for a few minutes and relive the sacred moment... YEAH!!


BEHOLD: DR. EVIL! Mint in package! But not for long!

Mom, knowing all too well for months already how desperately I needed this toy made sure the camera was on me at the magic moment.

My fucking TONGUE is hanging out.

Dig the GI JOE Soldier of the World behind me! And some kind of train set or something!

But it was Dr Evil. That was the one. I STILL have him.


And for now, I still have Mom. And I wish I still had Pete. Oh for one more moment with all of them.