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Sunday, October 21, 2007


My friend Donna Jacobs was killed in a motorcycle accident 2 nights ago. I found out yesterday and I'm still stunned.

Over the 20-plus years that I knew her, Donna remained perhaps the most bullshit-free person I knew. She spoke her mind with candor, but never with arrogance; she came on tough, and it was no act, but neither was her kindness or her sensitivity. Throughout the comings and goings of the various other friendships, romantic relationships, work and social situations that intersected our lives, we remained close despite having apparently little in common. The reason was simply that we enjoyed each other's company and had some kind of trust... an unforced, unguarded mutual respect that was occasionally contentious, but always with humor and always loving.

I believe she considered me a source of support and optimism (believe it or not) during some of her sadder times. I can say without qualification that in her I found a true friend, one who told me straight out when I fucked up, but gave a damn about why ...and how I'd unfuck back down. Donna was there with hugs when I lost loved ones, and there with more when the kids came along. And afterwards, and in-between. This seems like a given, but I've learned how rare it can be.

I don't want to write this entry, having decided to mainly treat the blog as a repository for silly bullshit and leave the highs and lows of life to those few who actually sit with me and talk about such things. But one of those precious people is gone and a brief toast is due.

I love you, Donna. Thank you and goodbye, dear friend.

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