Posted 7:31 PM by sport

During a commercial break from Letterman last night, I flipped around the dial, momentarily passing the terminally unfunny Jay Leno's ongoing desecration of the Tonight Show. There was Mel Gibson, fielding questions from ol' lantern jaw... questions so bland and puffa-puffa they made Larry King look like Christopher Hitchens. Look here:

The devil is not ugly and scary,
The devil's M.O. is seduction, and it relies on charm to do its work.
Mel Gibson is the devil.
One of many. Thy name is legion.
If there was a Jesus, and this guy did stand for all the ugly shit these followers believe, then I'd crucify him myself.

And: why is ANYBODY troubled by gay marriage? What desperate insecurity drives a nation of morons to get all worked up over the prospect of other people's fulfilled love lives?
By the way, the Song of Songs is some seriously horny gay poetry. I once read it over the phone to a woman of my acquaintance so that she could masturbate. She came, screaming. True story; she gets off on gay male porn.

In a related matter, amen to Howard Stern getting stung.
I HATE that douchebag.
Once, comedians like Lenny Bruce, Godfrey Cambridge, George Carlin and Richard Pryor challenged common idiocies regarding race and censorship with bravery and HIGH hilarity. Their efforts succeeded, and now the freedom to speak enjoys much wider berth.
And that freedom has unleashed filth, obnoxiousness and a national worship of the stupid and the abusive.
And nobody is as funny as Lenny Bruce, Godfrey Cambridge, George Carlin (including George Carlin) or Richard Pryor anymore, except maybe Chris Rock.

This applies to music as well.
Here I go: I LIKE censorship.
It forces ingenuity.
There can be no refreshing transgression in a culture of utter permissiveness.
Censorship restores the prerogative to those with brains, both the creative minds and the audience.
We need the iron hand of repression, because it makes life more fun.
And it gives free speech activists something REAL to holler about.
And I do love free speech activists.

And I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll...
Ah, fuck it.