Posted 5:16 AM by sport

I'm terrified, Pop. Tomorrow (today) we begin the wake. Maureen and Ira and David just got back from North Carolina, where David's other Grandparents are having a hard time. I'm afraid of how they're going to absorb this, just like I don't know how Mom is gonna make it through. Miles and Lily help a lot... I sometimes think Lily forced an early birth so that you could meet them. The joy on your face seeing and holding them will warm my heart forever. Miles will carry on your name, and I know that meant a lot to you.

Tommy Makem was on TV tonight singing "the Gypsy Rover" and I broke down once again... after that some guy sang "Guantanamera" and I wondered if you and Petey were sending me a hint. I'll need something a little more concrete if you can manage it. God, I hope there's a place where you and he and Bobby are laughing and embracing and enjoying a few drams of the good stuff. I don't have any faith, Dad. Please help me if you can.

Many of your buddies at the AOH are pulling together for your send-off... the family is calling and my friends are there for me. Brian has friends helping him too, and I promise that I'll love him and help him as much as I can. Shelley is strong and loving for all of us. I know you were nuts about her and of course it's mutual; I found a girl like Mom, Dad, and we'll raise those babies just as you raised us. I'm gonna do everything in my power to keep Mom together and I swear the family will hold each other up.

I videotaped you smiling as Mom played with the babies on Thanksgiving, and I suppose I'll watch it and lose it again, but I feel so lucky that we had that day. Alex is stunned and sad; I'm glad you two were together Thursday as well. I'll hug Olivia for you and thank her for being a good dog and making you laugh so hard. I went for a random Bible quote to see if you had a message for me. Didn't appear so. Our friends of faith are praying... our atheist friends are whispering sweet nothings. God, I miss you Pop. We put Petey's memorial pin from the firehouse on your lapel and also the Irish Language pin (I forget what it's called... the "fawn-yuh?" ...forgive me.

I'll miss watching Jeopardy with you... and Jon Stewart... I'll miss you all the time. Pop, I dont know how to go on, but I will. Please help Mom.
I can still hear your voice reciting Yeats.
I can still see you in the sun singing the Sodier's Song with your magnificent voice, making me burst with pride at the Feis.
The Christmas lights are going up all over town and I recalled you walking me around the old neighborhood to see them all.
Christ, is it all only memories now? Fado, fado.
I want to make you one more cup of tea.
Thank you, Pop, I will love you and honor you the rest of my life, and hold out some shred of hope that there is a place where we'll all meet again someday.